Teach in the Affirmative: The Connected Lesson

As the new school year fastly approaches, I have decided to dedicate one more post to the educators of the world, but as usual, the concept applies beyond the classroom and children.  Being connected through any conversation is required for the conversation to be clear.  It is responsible of a good communicator that they leave the conversation with clarity.

Teach in the Affirmative

An educators' guild to Talk in the Affirmative in the Classroom.

The Connected Lesson

Teachers, stay connected the entire way through a lesson.  No matter what, make sure you find a good place to end a lesson; time it, even.  The end of your lesson is almost as important as the beginning of your lesson.  Even the kids who are distracted [Note how I avoid saying “…kids who don’t listen”. TITA] may have gotten enough, or may be drawn in by those who did ‘get’ the lesson, to connect to the lesson if you end it effectively.  If you rush through any moment of the lesson, you have disconnected before knowing that your kids have connected.  If you have to be late for lunch or if you have to rush to your next class, do that before you disconnect from the lesson. If you disconnect from the lesson, so will the kids; the kids will disconnect from you too.

A way to have a successfully connected end to your lesson is to look the kids in the eyes and ask them if they got the lesson.  Attempt to visually connect with each of them.  Have some of the kids attempt to give an overview of the lesson. [Note: Requires a modeling of an “overview”.]  Occasionally, but not often (not as a trick but as a technique), ask a kid that you know says he ‘got it’, but is just saying he ‘got it’ in order to “look good”, to give an explanation of the lesson.  Instead of making it an embarrassing moment for the kid when he reveals that he did not ‘get it’, make it an opportunity to forward the kid. I might say, “I really thought you knew the answer and were being honest.  It takes away from everyone else when you do that, someone who really got it could have answered it and we could be getting on with the lesson. That’s being selfish.”

Forwarding the kid with the way of being and what to do is affirmative and gives him and the other students a direction. Telling the student what not to do is in the negative and takes away from focus.  Once I tell a kid what to do in a situation, I give him or her time to develop the understanding and skill.  How to be is as much a skill to learn as how to multiply!

Teach in the Affirmatve: The Issue With "I Love You"

Teach in the Affirmative

An educators' guild to Talk in the Affirmative in the Classroom.

THE ISSUE WITH "I LOVE YOU"

Although the following post originated as a message to teachers, I came to realize how much it applies to all relationships.

I recently had a conversation about the phrase “I love you” in regards to teachers connecting with students.  A friend said, “Some kids just need to hear someone say I love you,” regarding what some students need in order to get them to want to listen and learn in school.  It got me thinking about my students, and then it got me thinking about my life.  I am clear that the effect of the phrase “I love you” to a child is dependent on how a child is indoctrinated to receive the phrase.  I know for a fact that many of my kids, as well as I, had people in our lives tell us that they love us.  For some children “I love you” means: I nurture you, protect you, support you, provide for you, and guide you.  For others, it means: I beat you when you annoy me, I yell at you for your curiosity, I abandon you when I get tired, or I call you names when I am angry.

“I love you,” is subjective.  Hence, the phrase is unclear.  What may be more forwarding to a student than “I love you” are phrases that are less subjective and provide more insight.  Phrases such as “I appreciate you”, “I enjoy you”, “I respect you”, and “I am grateful for you” are esteem builders.  These phrases, followed by a reason why you appreciate, enjoy, respect, or are grateful for the student forwards the student by giving him or her information that may encourage them to develop the trait or quality. 

In no way am I saying that as teachers we should not tell our students that we love them.  I most certainly do tell my kids that I love them.  However, I establish a connection with them first.  They cannot comprehend how someone who does not know them can love them.  Nothing we say to them matters if at first we have not established a connection.